Mushrooms!
by hobbitspipweed
Summary: Merry and Pippin are hungry from a long days work.Will they find mushrooms in the next person that walks by? Recomended by Commander BunBuns!And garanteed to make you laugh!(if you're true fans of the two hobbits you will!!)


Mushrooms!!!!   
  
  
Merry and Pippin were walking down the sidewalk after a long day of rehearsals for the Lord of the Rings.   
"That was a rehearsal to remember right Pip?" Merry said tiredly.  
"I'm hungry." Was all Pippin replied.  
"Gosh, Pete was a little cranky today dont you think?"  
"Yeah, I guess. I am still hungry, hungry for--"  
"You don't care do you?"  
"...Sausages, ham, bacon, eggs, tomatoes.."  
"You know Pip, I've always wondered, wether your brain was in your head or in your stomach."  
"Second breakfast. Elevensies. Luncheon. Afternoon tea....."   
"I guess that confirms my thought." *Smiles.  
"I've got to have them all organized somehow!"  
Merry patted Pippin on the back and sighed. "Poor thing, lost his senses he has."  
"Yes, I agree with you. I see your point -- but what if I plan something for afternoon tea and I'd rather eat it at elevensies? What if I plan something for luncheon and I would rather eat something else?"   
"What's a poor hobbit to do?" Merry asks sympathetically.  
At that precise moment a group of hot chicks walked by the pair of hungry and confused hobbits.   
"I must get a schedule!" Pippin cried in total hunger. "If I don't-  
Merry stopped Pippin in mid-sentence and whispered dreamily.   
"Look at them mushrooms Pip!" He pointed at the women in front of them.   
Pippin's head popped up at the sound of food. "Mushrooms?" He said urgently. "I like mushrooms!"  
"So do I Pip, so do I." Merry says determinedly. "Lets follow 'em!"  
"Anything for mushrooms!"  
They followed the ladies into an eatery and over to the bar. Merry walked in and saw the girls sitting at the barstools and realised his predicament.He, thinking quickly, told Pippin to go get a large phonebook. He soon came back, his knuckles dragging on the floor as he struggled to carry it to him. With Pippin's help Merry put the phone book on one of the bar stolls near the ladies and mounted his stool. He ordered a pint of ale and sat, looking at the ladies cooly.   
"So ladies....."  
While Merry sweet talked them into giving him their phone numbers ,Pippin went from stool to stool searching their purses frantically for 'Mushrooms.' After searching them each several times and finding nothing but make-up and several things he couldn't name, Pippin gave up and went over to Merry's stool and whispered up to him.  
"Merry. They don't have any mushrooms!" Merry looked down at him for a second.   
"Excuse me ladies.....My little puppy dog has to be let outside for a moment to settle his.....'business'......" he said hopping off the stool and making Pippin walk on his hands and knees , yelping like a dog, outside to the sidewalk.  
"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"  
"Well, while you were 'busy' sweet-talking the girls, I was busy searching their purses for food! And I discovered something....."  
"You were what?" Merry cried.  
"Well, first I discovered that Maybelline makes a lipstick..........And then I discovered that Cherity's boyfriend dumped her....."  
"Pip, what were you doing?! You don't look through people's personal stuff.....I thought I told you that yesterday when you looked through my underwair drour!" Pippin continued his list of ' discoveries' .  
"And then I figured out.....get this......that they don't have any mushrooms!!"  
"Mushrooms?! Pip!!Can't you see what I meant?!They're sitting on their mushrooms!!" He cried walking back into the cafe ' . Merry hopped back onto his stool and grabbed his pint of ale.  
"Now, where were we ladies?" The women smiled sweetly at him.  
Pippin, meanwhile, had other plans than to just sit around talking....He was gonna' get himself his mushrooms. He looked at the stools and tried to calculate in his head.  
"Hmmmm......They're too heavy for me to move them myself......" he looked around the sidewalk and found five dogs with their leashes tied to a street sign and smirked. "That'll work!"   
Merry was just getting out a notepad out of his inner jacket pocket to write their numbers down.  
"Do you have a pen I can borrow Hun?" The girl giggled and slowly began to rummage through her purse in her lap for a pen.  
"Mmmmm.....Mushrooms....."Merry whispered.Little did he know that Pippin was thinking the same thing.....  
Pippin tied the leashes to the girls stool legs and stood a couple feet away from them.   
"Come on puppys!!" they didn't budge. "Come on! Come to Pippin!" One of the dogs began to lick itself. "Well, look at that....He blew me off!If I could just think of a way to get them to come......" He smelled the delicious smell of food and looked over to see an older man was just getting up from his breakfast and heading to the restroom. Pippin slowly crepped over to the plate and picked up a piece of bacon and looked at it hungrily.  
"I'm going to regret this..." he moaned. "Get a hold of yourself Pip!"he told himself." Think of you're motivation! Mushrooms......Yummy....." He stood up confidently. "Okay, let's do this!" he said.  
"He heald the bacon infront of the dogs, some of which were two times the size of him, And wagged it back and forth.   
"Come on puppies....." Suddenly all the dogs ran after him, pulling the stools out from under the ladies.  
Merry jumped off his stool and began to try to help up the ladies,  
Pippin stood, rooted to the spot as the pile of dogs came hurtling towards him. His eyes widened as they tackled him to the ground, and he was soon lost under their fur and paws. When a little poodle grabbed the bacon and began prancing off all the other dogs chased after it and leaft Pippin on the floor covered in footprints and dog hair. The minute the girls saw the poor little, now derranged, hobitt lying on the floor they ran over to him with tons of , "Oh the poor thing!" and " What happened to you sweet-ums?" leaving Merry completely by himself and ignored.   
By the time the ladies leaft Pippin and leaft the store his hands were full of phone numbers and Merry slowly walked over to him and plopped down next to him.   
"You're one lucky halfling Pip....."   
The only thing that crossed Pippin's mind was , "I still didn't see any mushrooms....." 


End file.
